Moment of Weakness & a Small Victory

Yesterday started off like most days have this year. Woke up tired after around 5 hours of sleep the night prior, showered and arrived at work. Speaking of work, it almost feels shitty to say but the ongoing pandemic hasn’t affected my routine. My job has deemed themselves essential and while work has slowed down , as somebody that isn’t college educated or particularly skilled, I’m lucky to have a job at the moment. I hope I didn’t jinx myself. Anyways, I usually arrive home after work around 6 P.M. Like I said, standard work day.

During the week, I try to start my studies by 7:30 P.M the latest. Yesterday, while browsing internet forums and watching Twitch streams, my eye was on clock knowing it would soon be time to put on the hardhat and struggle with anatomy for the next 4 hours, as usual.

6:30 came and went, still on my ass, enjoying myself. Then 7:00 and 7:30 . Before I knew it, it was 8 P.M and I hadn’t even plugged in my Wacom tablet or opened Clip Studio :/. And as if I hadn’t built up some semblance of discipline this year, I started to make the same mental bargains in my head like I had been doing all those years prior.

“It’s okay, you can just study for 2 hours and study extra hard tomorrow!”

“You’ve been working hard, you can take a day off”

“It’s just one night”

I was so disappointed at how easily I was able to slip into this familiar, lazy mindset. It put my effort this year into perspective. I’ve been consistently studying every single day since late January of this year. what’s barely 3 months compared to decades of procrastination? Sigh.

When 8:30 P.M rolled around, I opened up the Bammes PDF and plugged in my Tablet’s USB cable. Loaded up a 10 hour “rain sound” stream on Spotify, closed Chrome and Discord and studied for 4 hours straight. Like the title said, small victory but I’m glad I didn’t give into the temptation of laziness. Funnily enough, the thought of writing this blog was the driving force lol.

Sidenote: I’m becoming a bit of a Mit Kahl stan. Reading about him on Disney Legend Andreas Deja’s blog constantly intimidates and inspires me to become a better draftsman.

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